She’s going to be pissed.

From Consumerist. The comments on that post are a treasure trove of embitterment and condescension.

Dear Creator of Zip-Off Pants,

Although I searched and searched on the vast internets, nobody knows who you are. Which is a shame, because such an invention deserves to have legions of mothers sending you millions of personal thank you notes.

Sir or madam, I would like to get down on bended knee and offer you my sincerest thanks for your ingenuity.

Because of you, I do not have to worry about the transition from morning into day, or from day into evening. Your pants are there to help. I do not have to carry around separate shorts and pants, or simply leave the house throwing up a prayer and hoping just one or the other will do. With your product, I can be happy, carefree, and have more room in my purse.

Some might argue that you have “softened up” our children. That being either too hot or too cold builds needed character. Pshaw, says I. What your pants do is save me, over my lifetime, what would most likely amount to hours of whining.

So to you, nameless innovator, I again offer you thanks.

Smooches,
Glinda

P.S. I have only one suggestion for improvement, and that would be to somehow make sure that it is impossible to lose the zipped off remnants of fabric. I know, I know, I ask for yet another miracle, but I have faith.

P.P.S And also, it is probably the one article of clothing that we mothers of boys have that mothers of girls probably wish they had too. I shall resist the urge to say “Neener, neener.”

This was, as predicted, a close one and one of our funnier comment threads. I nearly gave it to Bellamama, just for vague patriotism reasons, but in the end I had to bow the the perfection of the following:

gemdiva Says:
May 24th, 2008 at 7:37 pm

And now, we take you to downtown Honolulu where the annual
Don Ho birthday celebration is in full swing.

Yes, gemdiva reclaims her crown. Now, what shall we award her for her fabulous hypothetical prize? These playful, yet protective, Guiseppe Zanotti sandals in multicoloured metal mesh. You have to dress appropriately to make the most of a bubble fight!

And it shall be proclaimed that “Yeah!” and “Hell yeah!” are the overwhelming cries when asked if a third grader is too young to dye their hair. A goodly thirty-one percent weighed in that temporary dye was fine, but not permanent dye. You have to laugh at the dilemmas of modern parenting, really. Or else find oneself curled up in a corner, sobbing uncontrollably.

Today I’m going to bring up the subject of gender in education. Some experts and schools are advocating the separation of boys and girls in the classroom. Usually for certain classes such as P.E. and English, but sometimes for the entire school day. There is no doubt that taken as a whole, boys have a different learning style than girls. Which is neither good or bad. But is it a good idea?

Think of Rachel Ray.

This is just too perfect; she wants you to spend fifteen of your hard-earned dollars to purchase a bowl into which you’ll throw your crap.

As for me, I call the place where I throw my scraps the “Garbage” but you know, her market is terribly refined.

I present to you the parental stylings of mothers who take their daughters to the spa because well, 9/11 pushed them to do it! OK, well, one of them, anyway.

You’ll have to sit through a brief cereal commercial, but it’s worth it.

And is it just me, or are those half-braids really, really, ugly?

Poor girl has been a little glum lately. Can you blame her for wanting a new, child-ready makeover? But somebody should definitely tell her about that whole ClownFear movement. From the Worth 1000 Evil Celebrity Clown contest:

Lord help us, neon is making a comeback.  Anyone growing up in the 80’s is familiar with the horror that the neon trend has forever imprinted on our retinas.

And for some reason, fashion has decided that it is time for the populace to experience neon again in all its day-glo glory.  Perhaps some of these people didn’t actually experience the 80’s, or else they might think long and hard about voluntarily attempting to reinstate its popularity.

Neon makeup is supposed to be big this summer.  There is no doubt that heavily pigmented neon makeup is a thing of the past. And deservedly so. As I stated before with the blue eye makeup, the pigmentation is lighter, although care always has to be taken in the application of such bright colors. I would make a clown joke here, but that would just be a little to easy, methinks.

The best rule to follow is to focus on one feature. Be it nails, lips, or eyes, neon should be used with restraint. I would think this would be obvious, but you never know.

The easiest way to do neon is of course with nail polish. Another good way is to use neon eyeshadow as a liner, not over the entire brow or lid. Just wet the brush a little and apply. Neon lipstick actually works well with minimal summer makeup. I can’t include it here, but next month MAC is coming out with an entire line of neon lipstick.

Here are a few products to try out the whole neon thing. If you dare.

Pop Beauty Lid Neon

Essie Neon Collection

Anna Sui Creamy Eyecolor #100

NARS Lipstick in Schiap*

*The color swatch is the actual Schiap color, not the one in the tube.