The Early Bird
By GlindaGets to choose the best outfit.
The Munchkin’s preschool is having their annual musical showcase.
I am always early dropping him off to school because I am just anal like that about almost any appointment or obligation. I have yet to drop him off late. And with only three weeks to go, I am pretty confident I will maintain my perfect record. I know I just somehow put that curse out on myself, and it is now echoing through the cosmos, probably coming back to bite me in the ass on the day I need to take him to his SAT’s.
So, there I am being all early and stuff, when I see that there is a sign-up sheet on the little table the teacher has set up outside the door. I pick it up, and it seems that this year the school is being anal as well, for there are actual outfits, costumes if you will, that must be worn to this year’s Musical Extravaganza. I look at the two choices for boys:
White Dress Shirt and Khaki Pants
or
Blue Dress Shirt, Blue Pants and Blue Suspenders
Huh?
Blue Suspenders? I have no idea where you can even purchase blue suspenders around here. I can’t even remember the last time I saw a child, or even a grown man other than Larry King, who just doesn’t count, wearing suspenders.
So of course, I sign up for the relatively easy white shirt and khaki pants.
I watched as some of the moms straggled in to class as I was getting in my car. And all I could think was, you are gonna be the chumps who have to go searching high and low for some suspenders that your kid will most likely never wear again.
Suckers.
May 28th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
I’m guessing by the deafening silence that I have offended all the Suspender Moms.
May 28th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Well, they’re a touchy bunch.
May 28th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
Sorry to tune out; nothing personal, just two moves and chaperoning an emergency room visit (yes, everyone is fine).
I’m trying to imagine why anyone would specify suspenders anyway. You know what’s going to happen. All those late-bird moms, to which group I occasionally belong, are going to have to fake something the night before, and the result is going to be (a) inconsistent and (b) hideous. Better far to scrap the suspenders, or at least chirp in a helpful way that they have been purchased in bulk so the late-bird moms can buy them at a discounted price.
Far better to learn from Glinda, and sign up for the khakis early.
May 28th, 2008 at 11:42 pm
I’m sensing a big hootenanny finale. Nothing good can come of suspenders.
Except the Mork from Ork ones. Those totally ruled. But your sons would turn out gay.
But fabulous!
May 29th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
gamma- I’m glad everyone is ok!