A Letter of Adulation
By Glinda
Dear Creator of Zip-Off Pants,
Although I searched and searched on the vast internets, nobody knows who you are. Which is a shame, because such an invention deserves to have legions of mothers sending you millions of personal thank you notes.
Sir or madam, I would like to get down on bended knee and offer you my sincerest thanks for your ingenuity.
Because of you, I do not have to worry about the transition from morning into day, or from day into evening. Your pants are there to help. I do not have to carry around separate shorts and pants, or simply leave the house throwing up a prayer and hoping just one or the other will do. With your product, I can be happy, carefree, and have more room in my purse.
Some might argue that you have “softened up” our children. That being either too hot or too cold builds needed character. Pshaw, says I. What your pants do is save me, over my lifetime, what would most likely amount to hours of whining.
So to you, nameless innovator, I again offer you thanks.
Smooches,
Glinda
P.S. I have only one suggestion for improvement, and that would be to somehow make sure that it is impossible to lose the zipped off remnants of fabric. I know, I know, I ask for yet another miracle, but I have faith.
P.P.S And also, it is probably the one article of clothing that we mothers of boys have that mothers of girls probably wish they had too. I shall resist the urge to say “Neener, neener.”
May 27th, 2008 at 10:05 am
Oh man, I had a pair of zip pants that lasted me through four years of college. I loved them dearly and wish they hadn’t gotten (1.) too big and (2.) too cruddy to keep. I used to wear them half unzipped so my knees were bare. Ridiculous, I know, but I felt so cool.
May 27th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
Truly a great idea, I agree - but with twins I nixed this concept early on, because the thought of keeping tack of, matching up in the wash, and individually labeling (as required by daycare) four zipped off pant legs just about sent me over the edge.
Even shoes I could barely manage!
May 27th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
But…if you get one black pair and one grey, you can mix and match! Who says our kids’s pant legs have to remain shackled to fabric monogamy?