Loyal TeenyManolites know that we’ve long kept a beady eye on the jaded escapades of debauched homunculus known as Elmo. The back alleys of Hollywood swarm with the tainted, broken bodies of those he has used and tossed aside.

We thought he was the only one. But we were wrong. So very, very wrong.

From McSweeney’s Internet Tendency comes shocking news that everyone’s favorite glutton, Cookie Monster, has come out of the closet about his biscuit abuse problem. It can be only a matter of weeks before he’s in a residential treatment program in Utah, getting busy with Lindsay Lohan behind the sagebrush bushes.

Me thinks me have serious problem. Me thinks me addicted. But since when it acceptable to call addict monster? It affliction. It disease. It burden. But does it make me monster?

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 17th, 2008 at 3:19 pm by raincoaster and is filed under Bring It, Entertainment, That's Just Wrong. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.