Baby Fiends
By Glinda
I’m just not a baby person.
I’m cool with babies and all, but I am not one of those women who will drop everything to rush over to an infant. I don’t normally coo and cuddle someone else’s child, unless I am related to or good friends with the parents.
I remember taking the Munchkin out when he was about six months to get our taxes done. The secretary saw him and immediately squealed, lurching out from behind her desk, begging to hold him. Granted, he was one cute baby, but I was a bit nonplussed that this woman, this stranger, was practically salivating at the thought of cradling him.
Since her boss was the one who was going to be saving us some money, I reluctantly allowed her. Her face suffused with joy, and she said, “I can’t help it, I am totally baby crazy. I just looooove babies.”
And when the Munchkin was young, I came across many of these women. Seemingly normal, but if their radar picked up an infant within twenty feet, their eyes would glaze over and their minds became slightly unhinged. Once that baby hit their arms, they could no longer communicate properly with the outside world. Syllables became drawn out, and nonsensical babbling/singing would come out of their mouths. There was nothing else but this infant and their momentary bond. Which is touchingly sweet, and yet is at the same time a wee bit creepy.
I sort of get it. There is something so very adorable about newborns. Those little lips! Those big eyes! The cute noises! And the helplessness! Who can resist the helplessness?
Well, I can.
I think I am happier now that my son and I can have a conversation, that he can brush his own teeth, and that diapers are a thing of the distant, distant past.
May 14th, 2008 at 11:12 am
Ironically enough for someone who had nine children, Queen Victoria not only detested being pregnant, but couldn’t stand babies. She was much more interested in her children when they got old enough to have a conversation with.
Me? When I see a baby, I often have the irrational urge to do anything and everything in my power to interact with it…but over the years I have learned to restrain myself to just making faces at it (for entertainment purposes, but whose I will not attempt to say) when pointed in my direction unless I am actually acquainted with the parent(s).
I also love chatting with slightly older kids. My neighbor’s four year old flirts with me outrageously and I love it when he starts telling me about his bike or what he’s up to in preschool. Of course, I think he mainly thinks I’m cool because I’ve been known to show up unexpectedly with chocolate chip cookies or pie.
The possibilities of a small child are tremendous, but I must admit I just like people overall, whatever their size and stage of development.
May 14th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
I react like that with cute dogs, so I guess we all have our quirks. (I’m serious, if I’m driving by myself in the car, and see a cute dog, I will actually exclaim out loud, “Oh my god! Look at that cute little muffin! Tee hee hee!”)
We’re all a little nuts, each in our own special way.
And for the record, I like babies around the point where they can hold up their own heads and start looking less terrifyingly fragile. And if I see a baby with huge chubby cheeks and two bottom teeth showing in a great big grin, then I’m lost.
May 15th, 2008 at 6:03 am
My mother-in-law loves babies, but once her grandchildren got out of at stage she’s been pretty much hands off. She has never babysat for us, and she has never come to any kid related event (recital, game) despite many invitations. A few years ago we all got together from all over the country so she could see her 13 grand children all at once and she spent one night of htat weekend at an Elton John show in Atlantic City because she got tickets at the last minute.
May 15th, 2008 at 8:56 am
I like to look at other people’s babies, but not pick them up. I do think babies are cute, but I lack the desire to hold them. For some reason, I find it a little scary even though I’ve had two babies. My preference is for the 3-4-5 year olds. I love those kids!
May 18th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
[...] Glinda… There was nothing else but this infant and their momentary bond. Which is touchingly sweet, and yet is at the same time a wee bit creepy. [...]