Happy Mother’s Day!
By Glinda
Because we’ve had enough flowers and chocolate!
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
Erma Bombeck
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.
Phyllis Diller
Raising a kid is part joy and part guerilla warfare.
Ed Asner
My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
Buddy Hackett
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
Milton Berle
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Phyllis Diller
Mothers are all slightly insane.
J.D. Salinger
And I couldn’t resist these, either…
Dictionary of a Mother
Dumbwaiter
One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Feedback
The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.
Full Name
What you call your child when you’re mad at him.
Grandparents
The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
Independent
How we want our children to be for as long as they do everything we say.
Show Off
A child who is more talented than yours.
Whodunit
None of the kids that live in your house.
