I don’t know why no one ever told me the truth. But I would now like to bring the truth out in the open, for all to see. I consider it my duty and a public service. You’re welcome.

When I brought my newborn home, I thought all was perfect and well with the world. And it was. For the first eight hours.

Then it became apparent that my life would never be the same.

Awww, Glinda, you are saying to yourself. Of course, a child changes your life in such a wonderful way! Such a wonderful, permanent way!

Well yes, there is all that with the bond you have with your offspring, yadda, yadda, yadda.

However, the permanent change that I’m referring to is that of not getting enough sleep. That is the change that no one bothered to tell me about. And if you ask me, it’s a rather important one.

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Forgive me, sisters, for I have sinned.

I have a confession to make: Although I work for the world’s foremost shoeblogger, I cannot, myself, be said to be much of a shoe fetishist. Of the many tiresome characteristics displayed by those four airheaded meat puppets on Sex and the City, the extravagantly overdone shoe worship was perhaps the most tiresome of all as far as I was concerned (and that is a crowded field, my friends). Art is art, even when you wear it on your feet, but please! Even Picasso knew when to lay off. The only thing more boring than competitive, fad-driven shoe fetishism is handbag fetishism, and thankfully that appears to have become so expensive as to now be nothing but a self-referential joke between Prada, Louis Vuitton, Hermes, and Balenciaga. And if so, more power to them: Kimora Lee Simmons doesn’t need all that money anyway.

In any case, I have to say that when it comes to shoes worthy of worship, the kids have it all over the adults. First of all, you can generally walk in shoes designed for kids. Secondly, the styles can be more creative, because they don’t have to be so reactive to market forces (is it a four inch stiletto this year or a two inch kitten heel?). I mean, take a look at some of these fabulous sneaks and tell me those aren’t just intrinsically wicked cool.

The Diadora Kids
Victor Plus Jr MD

Light as a pair of winged sandals, eye-catching, vegetarian-safe (although what kind of sauce you’d serve them with I have no idea) and best of all, $34. Some more snazzy soccer shoes:

adidas Kids
F30.8 TRX FG J

Although saddled with a name that belongs more to a fighter jet than a pair of shoes, these are still the kind of futuristic style that we had back when we thought the future was going to be really cool. Remember that? Also: $61, or half the price of a similar pair of adult shoes.

And lastly, these, for which I salivate and which have the added example of being unmissable on the field. When my sister and I went swimming, my mother would adorn us with the loudest, ugliest bathing caps she could find (think rhinestone-studded floral monstrosities in puce and mustard). These are a more aesthetically pleasing iteration of the same principle:

Puma Kids
v5.08 I FG Jr

The other day I read a quote from Matthew Broderick about his son with wife Sarah Jessica Paker, James Wilkie.  James, he said, was a big Barack Obama fan.

And hey, that’s fine.

But, James Wilkie is a few months younger than my own son, and yet he has an opinion about a presidential candidate?  And not even one who has clinched his party’s nomination?  It sounds to me like someone is picking up on some dinner conversation.

I think it is imperative that parents be politically active and aware.  That they vote.  That they take their kids with them when they vote.  In fact, I would say that if you don’t do these things, then you are short-changing your child out of a valuable education.

However, I have purposely not spoken to my son about any of the presidential election goings-on because I think it is still a wee bit too complicated.  He knows that we have a president and a (supposedly) representative government.  He knows about laws to protect people and animals and property, and I figure that since I have shown him “I’m Just a Bill” on YouTube, he is way ahead of the average American in terms of knowledge of the political process.

But super-delegates, gas tax cuts, healthcare reform, education reform, the historical candidacies of the two Democrats, I think that there is time enough for all that.  Let my five year old cut open a box and pretend it’s a boat, not worry if the Republican candidate is too old. 

Besides, I think if you asked the Munchkin who should be president, I’m afraid he would wholeheartedly cast his vote for Scooby-Doo.

Hmmm, maybe he’s got something there.

(And, apologies to all who suffered through the technical problems! It’s all better now!)

Some of you persevered and managed to post, technical difficulties notwithstanding, and we appreciate that. While the Manoloelves tinker behind the scenes and restore our blog to readability, life as we know it goes on, and that includes announcing the winners of our Friday Caption Contest.

bobbie-sue Says:
April 21st, 2008 at 10:24 am

The president finally had to admit it: we have a problem with overpopulation.

Congratulations and imaginary shoes to bobbie-sue! We’re a soft touch for a social issue around these parts. And which imaginary shoes will we hypothetically present? These: the slightly insane, yet superfantastic Veronica from Vince Camuto:

Yesterday my husband went grocery shopping.  He came home with approximately fifteen items.  The bill came out to over one hundred dollars, yet there was no filet mignon or fresh crab legs on the list.   More like apples, bananas, and whole wheat bagels. 

According to this lovely table from the Beareau of Labor Statistics, the year-over-year increase in inflation of food and beverage prices from March of last year to March of this year was a whopping 4.4 percent.  But as I stated above, I didn’t need that graph to tell me that the daily cost of living, from food to gasoline, has risen.

Some of the most enjoyable times spent with my son have been the two of us baking in the kitchen. We chat, I try to teach math concepts, he tries to crack eggs without pieces of shell falling into the batter, it’s all good. I have been thinking that it is perhaps time for my budding little chef to fly a bit more solo, and that means a good kids cookbook.

Simple recipes, easy prep, and most of all, recipes that taste good are prerequisites for a cookbook that will be utilized for a long time. As always, I’m here to do the heavy lifting and here are some of the best cookbooks that I could find.

Kids Cooking: A Very Slightly Messy Manual. For younger cooks, easy to follow recipes and great illustrations help out the beginner. And measuring spoons, too!

Pretend Soup and Other Real Recipes: A Cookbook for Preschoolers & Up. 17 easy recipes for your preschooler. Each recipes is printed twice, once in writing and once in pictures. An instant classic.

Honest Pretzels: And 64 Other Amazing Recipes for Cooks Ages 8 & Up. Vegetarian recipes make this book stand out. Recipes that are nutritious and easy to make will have your child wanting to make all of them!

Pink Princess Cookbook. If your little girl is enamored of all things princess-y, then this book filled with yummy tea-time snacks should do just the trick!

BatterUp Kids: Sensational Snacks!. This cookbook is great for kids just getting into the whole cooking thing.

Everything Kids’ Cookbook: From Mac ‘ N Cheese to Double Chocolate Chip Cookies-All You Need to Have Some Finger Lickin’ Fun. A little light on the pictures so better suited for children 9-12, this book has everything from lasagne to smoothies. Also has games and craft ideas.

New Junior Cookbook (Better Homes & Gardens). When I was a youngster, I had my own Better Homes and Gardens Cookie Book, and it was awesome. This one has lots of recipes, you’re covered from breakfast to to dinner. Also has a Cooking Basics chapter which explains about everything from cutting up vegetables to how to read nutrition labels. Also has diabetic exchanges.

Kids Cook!: Fabulous Food for the Whole Family. Detailed instructions, “real” food, also gives nutritional info for the over 150 recipes featured. No color illustrations, but the cook can color while the food is cooking!

Here’s a little something to sustain the grownup in you through the umpteenth viewing of The Little Mermaid, Pocahontas, or Insert-Kid-Fave-Disney-Flick.

Remember that tip to help nervous people relax and enjoy public speaking? The one where you’re supposed to imagine the audience in their underwear? Well, it works pretty well for Disney films, too, as you will see if you click onward. (more…)

With warmer weather already arrived in my neck of the woods, flesh that is perhaps not quite ready to be bared is having to be bared.  So, I headed off to find a fabulous exfoliating soap, because those wimpy microbeads just don’t cut it for my skin.  With my unbridled love for lotions, I need all the help I can get.

Enter L’Occitane Grape Exfoliating Bath Soap.  Made with grape seed oil and grape juice from Provence, it is shaped nicely to fit in your hands.  It uses apricot kernels as the exfoliating agent.

I have lots of things to say about this soap.  It smells nice and clean, for one.  For two, I’m thinking that Medieval monks that were into that self-flagellation thing would have approved of this soap.  Kidding, kidding! Well, sort of.

It is not for the faint of heart, because you feel the exfoliation happening.  Make no doubt about it that your body recognizes that a layer is being taken off.  I wouldn’t say it was pain, exactly, but definitely a lot of sensation going on.  Because of this, I don’t recommend it for use on your decolletage.  For those with very sensitive skin, I would only use it on areas such as the elbows, knees, feet, and back.

Now, having gotten all that out of the way, this soap is fantastic.  My skin literally feels like satin.  I’m completely addicted to it, and I would be willing to hock some of my jewelry to keep myself supplied.  I keep touching myself, it feels that good. Luckily, it is only supposed to be used once or twice a week, so the sting of a ten dollar per bar price tag is lessened a bit.  This would be unbeatable as a prep for self-tanning lotion.