Teeny Manolo

Even if you don’t wear makeup, nail polish, or anything else, there is one thing you must take care of, and that is your hair. Amy Winehouse hair is not acceptable for anyone except maybe Amy Winehouse and most of the time, not even then.

Everyone notices good hair, and they notice bad hair even more. And while I am past that teenage stage of looking in the mirror and brushing my hair every fifteen minutes, a good strategic brushing can do wonders.

Look for brushes that are easy to handle, have soft cushioning for the bristles, and when buying a brush with plastic bristles, look for rounded tips that are molded, not glued on. Choose the right brush based on your hair type and the purpose you are using it for.

 Mason Pearson brushes are the Rolls-Royces of the brush world. Handcrafted in England using only the finest wood and boar bristles, a Mason Pearson brush can easily last a lifetime. That is a good thing, because that quality will cost you a pretty penny. Boar bristles are a big deal because they are very gentle on your hair, and breakage is kept to a minimum.

But luckily, great brushes can be found at all price levels, and here are a few standouts.

This ionic brush from Vidal Sassoon is a good all-around styling brush, and is great for heat styling.
This oval brush from Phillips has gotten rave reviews for being able to brush hair thoroughly, yet still be gentle on the strands.
And last but not least comes this brush from beauty maven Sonia Kashuk, who has an eponymous line of products at Target. It uses nylon bristles, and has been compared favorably as a quality knockoff of the Mason Pearson brush featured above. Supposedly this brush is almost as good, for a fraction of the price.
 

You know what to do. Just think “Whoopi-level” rather than “Sherri-level” in terms of wit and you’ll be fine.

Dear Hugh Jackman Fan Club,

So far, you have enabled Mr. Jackman an unprecedented fifth win over Matthew Fox, who is certainly no slouch in the looks department. Not to mention Patrick Dempsey, Jason Bateman, Will Smith, and Daniel Craig, who also went down in flames.

Therefore, I have decided to throw some really big guns at you, just to see exactly what you are made of. Will you crumple in the face of the awesomeness that is this week’s challenger, or will you triumph yet again?

Only time will tell, my friends.

Let the showdown begin…

vs.

Now, there are just some people in this world that, when something bad happens to them, everyone laughs and says, Well, dude totally had it coming. Or my personal favorite: Many people are like slinkies - not really good for anything, but you can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. And so it is with the designers and producers of this perky set of celebratory Passover finger puppets.

Can you see the teensy problem here?

Is that BUCKWHEAT? Oh, sure, it could make an award-winning book, but somehow I don’t think it was the Torah. So, if this toy is to be believed, the plagues are: boils, water turns to blood, frogs, flies, locusts, diseased livestock, a hail of fire (that’s the one that looks like Bozo the Clown), lice, death of the firstborn, and being a black guy.

From YouOnMyBlog, via Gawker:

How can you make plagues more distasteful?

I’d really thought Catholics had cornered the market on gruesome religious paraphernalia for children, but damn, this is good. I’m not sure it quite takes it to the level that my Martyrdom of the Saints coloring book that I had back in the day, but it’s quite the contender.

Robert Downey Jr could not be reached for comment.

What Would Black Jesus Do?

According to a study out of the Universitites of Exeter and Oxford, it was found that women who ate a hearty, healthy breakfast were more likely to conceive a son.

In a rather stunning development, women who ate at least one bowl of cereal per day pre-conception were found to have the most male babies. Although cereal contains quite a few nutrients, it frightens me that a food which is completely engineered and bears no resemblance to anything in nature should be the key to having a boy.

Suspicious that some sort of cereal company was underwriting the study, I tried, but could find no evidence of shenanigans.

Women who skipped breakfast or ate a breakfast which was low in nutritional value had more girls.

Now does this study demonstrate yet again the superiority of the female sex, or what? When the going gets rough, it’s the girls who come through. But the boys? Oh no, conditions have to be perfect or they won’t even bother showing up for the party.

I’m trying to remember if I ate a lot of cereal before I got pregnant, although I have to admit that I had a “surprise” pregnancy and thus didn’t even know that I was pregnant until over a month and a half later. So goodness knows what I was putting in my body. I know that I certainly wasn’t making any extra effort to eat healthy, nor did pre-natal vitamins pass my lips until the pregnancy was confirmed.

But hey, if you’re a big fan of Lucky Charms, Frosted Flakes, or Fruit Loops and you want a boy, then by all means, chow down!

That rapier wit, that irresistible malevolence, that roguish smile, the manly tan, the arm/chest pelt, those perfect teeth, those suspiciously buff pecs, the himbo pinup calendar: is it any wonder that Simon Cowell, evil overlord of American Idol, has won the hearts of so many? But there’s one more reason:

The hair.

We at TeenyManolo, as dwellers in the Manolosphere and survivors of the Eighties, are uniquely placed to reveal to the world the secret of Simon Cowell’s mane muse. Where, in a world dominated by variations of the Trent Reznor and the George Clooney does a man get the inspiration for such a vividly gravity-defying, yet carefree and jungle-lush look?

From just one place, my friends:

Yes, it’s the comeback of the hottest look of the Eighties: The Monchhichi. Via toybender.com. Sex-AY! Is it any wonder they’re also the inspiration for a line of condoms?

I don’t know why no one ever told me the truth. But I would now like to bring the truth out in the open, for all to see. I consider it my duty and a public service. You’re welcome.

When I brought my newborn home, I thought all was perfect and well with the world. And it was. For the first eight hours.

Then it became apparent that my life would never be the same.

Awww, Glinda, you are saying to yourself. Of course, a child changes your life in such a wonderful way! Such a wonderful, permanent way!

Well yes, there is all that with the bond you have with your offspring, yadda, yadda, yadda.

However, the permanent change that I’m referring to is that of not getting enough sleep. That is the change that no one bothered to tell me about. And if you ask me, it’s a rather important one.

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Forgive me, sisters, for I have sinned.

I have a confession to make: Although I work for the world’s foremost shoeblogger, I cannot, myself, be said to be much of a shoe fetishist. Of the many tiresome characteristics displayed by those four airheaded meat puppets on Sex and the City, the extravagantly overdone shoe worship was perhaps the most tiresome of all as far as I was concerned (and that is a crowded field, my friends). Art is art, even when you wear it on your feet, but please! Even Picasso knew when to lay off. The only thing more boring than competitive, fad-driven shoe fetishism is handbag fetishism, and thankfully that appears to have become so expensive as to now be nothing but a self-referential joke between Prada, Louis Vuitton, Hermes, and Balenciaga. And if so, more power to them: Kimora Lee Simmons doesn’t need all that money anyway.

In any case, I have to say that when it comes to shoes worthy of worship, the kids have it all over the adults. First of all, you can generally walk in shoes designed for kids. Secondly, the styles can be more creative, because they don’t have to be so reactive to market forces (is it a four inch stiletto this year or a two inch kitten heel?). I mean, take a look at some of these fabulous sneaks and tell me those aren’t just intrinsically wicked cool.

The Diadora Kids
Victor Plus Jr MD

Light as a pair of winged sandals, eye-catching, vegetarian-safe (although what kind of sauce you’d serve them with I have no idea) and best of all, $34. Some more snazzy soccer shoes:

adidas Kids
F30.8 TRX FG J

Although saddled with a name that belongs more to a fighter jet than a pair of shoes, these are still the kind of futuristic style that we had back when we thought the future was going to be really cool. Remember that? Also: $61, or half the price of a similar pair of adult shoes.

And lastly, these, for which I salivate and which have the added example of being unmissable on the field. When my sister and I went swimming, my mother would adorn us with the loudest, ugliest bathing caps she could find (think rhinestone-studded floral monstrosities in puce and mustard). These are a more aesthetically pleasing iteration of the same principle:

Puma Kids
v5.08 I FG Jr

The other day I read a quote from Matthew Broderick about his son with wife Sarah Jessica Paker, James Wilkie.  James, he said, was a big Barack Obama fan.

And hey, that’s fine.

But, James Wilkie is a few months younger than my own son, and yet he has an opinion about a presidential candidate?  And not even one who has clinched his party’s nomination?  It sounds to me like someone is picking up on some dinner conversation.

I think it is imperative that parents be politically active and aware.  That they vote.  That they take their kids with them when they vote.  In fact, I would say that if you don’t do these things, then you are short-changing your child out of a valuable education.

However, I have purposely not spoken to my son about any of the presidential election goings-on because I think it is still a wee bit too complicated.  He knows that we have a president and a (supposedly) representative government.  He knows about laws to protect people and animals and property, and I figure that since I have shown him “I’m Just a Bill” on YouTube, he is way ahead of the average American in terms of knowledge of the political process.

But super-delegates, gas tax cuts, healthcare reform, education reform, the historical candidacies of the two Democrats, I think that there is time enough for all that.  Let my five year old cut open a box and pretend it’s a boat, not worry if the Republican candidate is too old. 

Besides, I think if you asked the Munchkin who should be president, I’m afraid he would wholeheartedly cast his vote for Scooby-Doo.

Hmmm, maybe he’s got something there.

(And, apologies to all who suffered through the technical problems! It’s all better now!)

Some of you persevered and managed to post, technical difficulties notwithstanding, and we appreciate that. While the Manoloelves tinker behind the scenes and restore our blog to readability, life as we know it goes on, and that includes announcing the winners of our Friday Caption Contest.

bobbie-sue Says:
April 21st, 2008 at 10:24 am

The president finally had to admit it: we have a problem with overpopulation.

Congratulations and imaginary shoes to bobbie-sue! We’re a soft touch for a social issue around these parts. And which imaginary shoes will we hypothetically present? These: the slightly insane, yet superfantastic Veronica from Vince Camuto: