There, I said it.

You know, this week started badly, is worsening rapidly, and at this rate I really don’t know if I’ll be able to face Friday without smelling salts. Tell me: Do they make overproof Earl Grey? I’ll have a double.

One doesn’t want to natter on about the Good Old Days before one was born (too much) because they were oppressive and hypocritical and full of ugly, synthetic garments and hostility towards the people who supply the toys for our Happy Meals and our mail order babies.

But.

One is reminded, one is, of the time Mister Walt Disney went to former Mousekateer Annette Funicello and asked her to keep her bellybutton covered during her upcoming beach movie, for the sake of the reputation of the Mickey Mouse Club. Well, she did and they gave her three sequels anyway and as far as we know she’s sitting on a beanbag full of cash, drinking whiskey sours her cabana boy mixed and emailing Perez Hilton corny jokes from the verandah of a swanky retirement villa in Santa Barbara. And good for her.

My, how things have changed. First Miley Cyrus, now this:

From Slate:

After reading of the Cyrus flap, I e-mailed my photo to Disney… How did the company square its position on the Liebowitz photo with its risqué billboard in China?…

Foster said he didn’t know which ad agency prepared the ad, how old the model was, or where the photo shoot took place. But he was sure it was the work of a Disney licensee: Shanghai Zhenxin Garments Co. Ltd… He assured me the billboard would be removed immediately…

It may be a small world, after all, but not everyone shares Burbank’s mores, and you can’t be too careful protecting your brand: You never know when a Chinese licensee, or an American glossy, will deviate from the Disney way.

So to speak.

The Munchkin and I were walking to the diamond where his Tee-ball practice was going to be held.  The “diamond” is really just a backstop on the infield of a track.  We were on that track, minding our own business, the Munchkin wandering along as five year olds are wont to do.  Then his amble turned into a sudden veer to the right as some whim overtook him to go that way.

Unfortunately, that veer took him right into the path of a nine year old on a bicycle.  Going much too fast for a track with people walking on it.

I watched it all in that famous slo-mo where your mouth opens to scream, but it all happens too quickly for you to actually do anything other than scream.  I think I scared the crap out of the kid on the bike, actually.

And before I knew it, five year old, nine year old and nine year old’s bike were in the dirt.  With the five year old on the bottom.

That bike hit him really hard, pushing him forward and down, with the wheel making impact on his right hip.

I pulled the nine and the bike off, probably a bit too roughly, but I was pissed.  I was worried.

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