Now, there are just some people in this world that, when something bad happens to them, everyone laughs and says, Well, dude totally had it coming. Or my personal favorite: Many people are like slinkies – not really good for anything, but you can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. And so it is with the designers and producers of this perky set of celebratory Passover finger puppets.

Can you see the teensy problem here?

Is that BUCKWHEAT? Oh, sure, it could make an award-winning book, but somehow I don’t think it was the Torah. So, if this toy is to be believed, the plagues are: boils, water turns to blood, frogs, flies, locusts, diseased livestock, a hail of fire (that’s the one that looks like Bozo the Clown), lice, death of the firstborn, and being a black guy.

From YouOnMyBlog, via Gawker:

How can you make plagues more distasteful?

I’d really thought Catholics had cornered the market on gruesome religious paraphernalia for children, but damn, this is good. I’m not sure it quite takes it to the level that my Martyrdom of the Saints coloring book that I had back in the day, but it’s quite the contender.

Robert Downey Jr could not be reached for comment.

What Would Black Jesus Do?

According to a study out of the Universitites of Exeter and Oxford, it was found that women who ate a hearty, healthy breakfast were more likely to conceive a son.

In a rather stunning development, women who ate at least one bowl of cereal per day pre-conception were found to have the most male babies. Although cereal contains quite a few nutrients, it frightens me that a food which is completely engineered and bears no resemblance to anything in nature should be the key to having a boy.

Suspicious that some sort of cereal company was underwriting the study, I tried, but could find no evidence of shenanigans.

Women who skipped breakfast or ate a breakfast which was low in nutritional value had more girls.

Now does this study demonstrate yet again the superiority of the female sex, or what? When the going gets rough, it’s the girls who come through. But the boys? Oh no, conditions have to be perfect or they won’t even bother showing up for the party.

I’m trying to remember if I ate a lot of cereal before I got pregnant, although I have to admit that I had a “surprise” pregnancy and thus didn’t even know that I was pregnant until over a month and a half later. So goodness knows what I was putting in my body. I know that I certainly wasn’t making any extra effort to eat healthy, nor did pre-natal vitamins pass my lips until the pregnancy was confirmed.

But hey, if you’re a big fan of Lucky Charms, Frosted Flakes, or Fruit Loops and you want a boy, then by all means, chow down!