The Age of the Not-So-Innocent | Teeny Manolo

The Age of the Not-So-Innocent

By Glinda

You know, I keep reading about how insecure teenagers are about their bodies.  About how fashion models have made them feel as if they fall far short of the beauty high water mark.

Well, you certainly wouldn’t know it to look at this season’s crop of prom dresses.

These little numbers are a far cry from my choices in 19(cough, cough) where I pretty much had Jessica McClintock or miles of taffeta ruffles and nothing much in between. 

Let’s take a look-see at what is hot for Prom Night ’08.  Columns are in, and apparently so is an eyeful of flesh. If these dresses look skimpy in the front, you can be assured there is even less in the back. Mind you, these are dresses specifically made and marketed for the prom, not the go-go dancing or club crawling crowd.

I’m feeling a bit pink

This one reminds me of Jeannie on acid or something.  Maybe it’s just all the pink.  Make it stop.


Sure to be voted “Most Likely to Become a Pole Dancer.”

Words fail me on this one

This one just makes me hope that those laces are tied verrrry tightly, or the date might very happily receive a free show.


At this point, why not just wear a skirt and a bikini top?  Why bother with the superfluous fabric in the middle?

The Age of Innocence

Because yes, prom night is all about fun and innocence.  Right?

No suprises

And the last piece de resistance is a favorite of mine, which I have dubbed “The Milk? Yeah, it’s For Free.”

21 Responses to “The Age of the Not-So-Innocent”

  1. dgm Says:

    Now those young ladies don’t look a bit self-conscious about their bodies.
    Seriously, my daughter is NOT getting bolt-ons when she’s a teenager no matter how much her self-esteem suffers.

  2. raincoaster Says:

    Those last two are also known as the “Card Me” dresses.

  3. Awesome Mom Says:


  4. Jennie Says:

    Back in the day, the school a dress code for prom. If it was too revealing, they either sent you home or pulled out a needle and thread and stitched the bosum up!

  5. La Petite Acadienne Says:

    I’d be very interested in hearing what actual teenage girls think of those dresses.

    Personally, I think they are all pretty trashy-looking. The short, sparkly one doesn’t look like it’d be too bad, but the model’s “I’m being soundly rogered from behind” pose really doesn’t help matters.

  6. class-factotum Says:

    Is anyone really buying these dresses for high-school girls? As in, are mothers now pushing their daughters into sluthood or is there anyone out there with some sense?

  7. Atasha Says:

    OMG. *jaws dropped open* Prom dresses? Maybe I’m old fashioned but when I bought my prom dress nothing like this was available. Maybe they ran out of cloth?

  8. Phyllis Says:

    On the last one – does the boob job come with the gown?

  9. dani Says:

    “I’d be very interested in hearing what actual teenage girls think of those dresses.”

    Coming from the mouth of a 16 year old girl, I would never, ever wear a dress like any of those to prom. Actually, no girl I know would. Trust me, if anyone showed up in one of those, everybody would be talking, and not in a good way. Just because they are made doesn’t mean we will buy them, thankfully. As a comparison, last year I wore this:

    which I am pleased to note looks nothing like any of those.

  10. Margaret Says:

    that second one looks like the back of a bra.

    If i had a daaughter and she wanted to wear one of these, I would ground her…for life.

  11. La Petite Acadienne Says:

    You’ve confirmed my suspicions, Dani. I can’t see any of the teenage girls I know ever wearing one of these…not unless she wants everybody to be talking behind her back all night.

  12. Pippitypup Says:

    We’ve mentored & made prom dresses for young ladies. None of them were ever this skankalicious.

  13. raincoaster Says:

    That Michael Kors dress is lovely, Dani.
    I’m just waiting for the old “Prom Garter” issue to rear its head again.

    Here is the highschool yearbook photo of a happy Garter Dancer:

  14. galadrium Says:

    See? I told you Miley Cyrus was looking pretty tame on the red carpet!
    And unfortunately, I have seen girls wearing similar dresses in my neck of the woods.

  15. KES Says:

    Well, at the ripe old age of 21 (/sarcasm) I’m not sure if my opinion on prom dresses counts anymore.. but they started going downhill when I was still in highschool, mostly with blindingly garish color combinations (hunter orange with 50 pounds of turquoise sequins, anyone?). I would definitely never wear any of those dresses, and I know that most girls that I have ever known would look at another girl wearing a dress like those and think, “What a slut.” However, there are girls out there who wear them, and I don’t know what it is they’re thinking.
    Also, La Petite Acadienne, that particular use of the word “roger” cracks me up every time. Thank you. 🙂

  16. Eilish Says:

    I have to make mention of all of the fabulous prom dresses that Francesca has been highlighting over at Manolo for the Big Girl. All of which have been lovely, appropriate for a teenage girl and most available in a great variety of sizes. Looking at all of these just makes me want to say, “Way to go, Francesca!”

  17. Glinda Says:

    dani, I applaud you your excellent taste!

    Of course, these are not the only choices in prom wear, but they happened to be some of the more salacious ones.

    I suppose I will leave the classy stuff to Francesca.

  18. JaneC Says:

    I am 23, and like KES I noticed girls wearing awful things not unlike this when I was in high school. Not at my school’s prom, mind you–we had a strict dress code, and if your dress was thought to be too revealing you’d be forced to wear the ugly brown sweater from the Salvation Army over your dress. However, when I was a junior I went to prom with a friend from another school, and there was one girl there in the tightest pants I have ever seen and a matching handkerchief top which was literally about the size of a handkerchief. It was leopard-print and had sequined trim. That wasn’t the only skanky outfit there, but it was the most memorable.

  19. KS Says:

    I don’t remember anyone wearing anything quite this bad to my prom back in ’02 (there was a minor preponderance of low-backed or backless dresses, but they generally came up to the neck in front!), but when I was working at a restaurant frequented by lots of prom groups, there were a LOT of slinky, low-cut dresses to be seen (one particularly memorable one was white and completely backless and clearly not lined…yeah). Obviously, the average high school girl who sports a dress like this isn’t quite as…endowed…as the models seen here, but even then, the look is no less (actually, quite possibly more) wrong.

  20. Tizzy Says:

    When I was a senior in high school (a mere four years ago) those dresses were all over the Your Prom magazines but none of the girls at my prom were wearing them. We all thought they were tacky and hideous. We figured it must be aimed at girls in parts of the country where sparkles are more common and women wear makeup to the market.

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