Cry Them a River » Teeny Manolo

Cry Them a River

By Glinda

May I hand you one of these? You know you need it.

It was the worst experience that I could ever imagine going through as a mother,” said one West Hollywood mom… “Of course I broke down and started crying. I threw up. I had diarrhea. I locked myself in the closet and drank myself into oblivion. I felt like I failed my kid.”

I know that you are thinking to yourself, what the hell caused that type of reaction? Was her child mauled by a wild bear? Maimed in an entirely preventable accident? Or perhaps walking too close to a cliff and fell off, resulting in bodily injury? Did they have a disease which she blames herself for missing the symptoms?

No my friends, it was worse than that.

Much, much worse.

Her child just so happened to be wait-listed for kindergarten.

I know, I know.

Don’t worry.

I’ve got enough hankies for all of you.

7 Responses to “Cry Them a River”

  1. shell Says:

    heh. we went to dinner with some friends in SF last weekend and we had the same discussion. they are getting ready to put their kid in preschool and have been wait listed. they didn’t mind, though, thinking they would try out other places, but said there were a ton of sobbing mothers around who had also been wait listed. how nuts is that! seriously. it’s preschool for god’s sake. it’s so sad to me that people use their kids as pawns at such an early age. let them be kids, dammit! 🙂

  2. raincoaster Says:

    Yes, that woman has failed her child. She should turn him over to the nanny to be raised and just go live in Monte Carlo and send cheques.

    Vanity Fair used to have a wonderful feature which was just things the staggeringly rich had said, like “a private jet is the only way for a Siamese to fly. They’re so fussy.”

    the worst experience that I could ever imagine going through as a mother
    Oh, someone take this princess to a Dorothea Lange exhibit, please.

  3. Beenzzz Says:

    What a freakin’ drama queen!

  4. La Petite Acadienne Says:

    If the afterlife is fair, every single mother whose child has died, gone missing, or had a serious illness or injury will be able to take turns swatting that spoiled, thankless twit upside the head.

    Anybody who gets worked up over something like that should be required by law to live with a below-poverty-level family for a month, either here or abroad, in order to gain perspective and empathy. They’d be put on leave from work and would not be able to access any of their own funds, and would have to work at a minimum wage job for that month.

    That fantasy law would also require all politicians, from town council right up to the leader of the country, to make that same living arrangement once every 5 years.

    I can dream, right?

  5. gemdiva Says:

    Only the disgustingly wealthy have the leisure time to “drink themselves into oblivion” over such trivialities. The rest of us just keep on keepin’ on. Ahhhh….the nervous breakdown as status symbol. I will now gag!

  6. Eilish Says:

    That article was just awful. I felt horrible for those poor children whose parents obviously are putting way too much pressure on them. I know, poor little rich kids, right? We didn’t have a lot growing up, just enough, but we always knew our parents loved each other and us, no matter what. We didn’t really think about anything else at that age and why would we?

    What must those poor children think when they are wait-listed after all their parents expect of them? The obvious message is that they are not good enough.

  7. La BellaDonna Says:

    Holy Mary, Mother of God. That’s – that’s someone’s idea of a problem? Not only that, but a problem of such dimensions?

    She’s living in an alternate reality. Can I get a transfer to that world? Please?

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