Listmania! Things That Make You Go, Hmmmm…
By GlindaBabies and kids are big business. That’s why there are a million different toys and safety items and educational thingamajigs and anything else that you can think of just for them. Products are trumpeted as the latest and greatest, things that you just can’t live without. But is that really true?
Some of these I sort of covet, but wonder if they make life simpler or just that much more complicated. Are the concepts revolutionary, or just a way to get you to spend some money? Are they truly useful, or are they just products that prey on parental insecurities?
Shampoo Rinse Cup– Instead of a regular cup, this one has a soft, flexible edge to keep the water and shampoo out of eyes. Ummm, how about just being really careful? Although if you have a child that screams bloody murder when water gets on their face, it might be worth it. Although you should discount any future competitive swimming career.
Snack Catchers– I can see why people would like these because they are reusable, but they also seem to possibly go a bit overboard. Don’t say the name of this too fast, though, it could come out a bit raunchy.
Babeebrite Hands Free Mobile Light– This is touted for those 3am diaper changes or for checking on your baby in the middle of the night. It could be the best thing ever, or just another gadget that becomes too much trouble when you can just get a soft night light. Nobody expects a 3am diaper change to be perfect, anyway.
Auto Seat Back Protector– Whatever happened to the good old days when parents would just scream at their kids to stop kicking the back of the car seat, or so help them God, they would pull over?
Child Locator– For twenty bucks, this device will enable you to track your child up to 150 feet away and through concrete walls. In one sense, I think parents should obviously keep track of their kids, but for certain events, I could possibly see the usefulness of this.
Juice Pal– Keeps those annoying juice boxes and pouches from being squeezed too tightly by little hands and spurting all over your beige carpet. I can see where this would come in handy, but kids aren’t supposed to drink a lot of juice, so I’m conflicted.
Inflatable Bathtub Liner– You inflate this with a separately sold pump (because with an infant you just have so much extra time for blowing up liners!) and you simply line the tub so that your child won’t hurt his/her self on the sides of the tub. It isn’t designed to keep your child from slipping in the tub, so I don’t quite see the point.
Crustless Sandwich Cutter– All right, I have to admit I’m a fan of the cute little shapes, but is this truly necessary?
DaysAgo Digital Day Counter– I for one remember being extremely sleep deprived in those infant days, but was I so far gone that I needed to stick a digital counter on my food to tell me if it was still any good? And you have to set the thing to boot.
Stroller Safety Flag– Attach this to your stroller, and everyone will see you! How about just being very conscientious when pushing your stroller, whether it be in a crowd or entering an intersection? And don’t they know that people already avoid women with strollers like the plague?
I would love, love, love to know what you all think of these.
April 6th, 2008 at 8:02 am
I’m totally going to buy that Child Locator thingy and drop it into the pocket of an unsuspecting cute guy at a club, so I can keep tabs on him.
April 6th, 2008 at 8:35 am
i’m going to go out on a limb here and say that i would not buy a single one of these products…they all seem like unnecessary expenses…
April 6th, 2008 at 10:24 am
I can see the usefulness of the Child Locator, if the child is anything like my nephew, who used to enjoy slipping away from his mother and hiding in crowded stores. He was incredibly good at this, and it only took a second. It would have saved her nerves a lot of wear and tear.
And I can definitely see the use of it for crowded events. Although I fully intend to be one of those awful parents who puts their toddler/preschooler in one of those kid harness/leash combos. I’d rather my kid resemble a Schnauzer than go missing, and holding their hand or carrying them the entire time is a recipe for little hands slipping out of yours, or perpetual backache.
I do have to add, I can’t see any kid over 4 not clueing in as to what that teddy bear pin is for. It’d be nice if they made a much more unobtrusive model for slightly older kids.
April 6th, 2008 at 11:47 am
shell, I hope there’s room for me out on your limb.
All of this stuff is either not worth the space it takes up (such as the inflatable tub liner), or easily replaced by preexisting items (such as a bread knife and a cookie cutter for the sandwich cutters) and therefore not worth the space it takes up, or pointless (such as the stroller flag). And none of it is worth spending money on.
Having said that, I’m sure each item will have a fan base among those whose need is extreme and who find the product worth the money and the space it takes up, such as, perhaps, La Petite Acadienne’s nephew’s parents.
April 6th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Let’s hear it for conspicuous consumerism! Keep China’s economy rolling by buying more junk!!!
April 6th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Okay, I’ll admit it. We own two of these items. The seat back protectors because we got a new car and were being anal about it getting messy (3 months later it still smells and looks new…), and we’ve also got the juice box things. While the kids don’t have juice boxes often, it does save some headaches. (okay, you can all start calling me a moron for buying into these now…) 🙂
April 6th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Stroller safety? How about something to protect us hapless pedestrians from Mom’s who use their stroller as a weapon to clear a path wide enough for car?! They’ll run you right off the sidewalk, or into the plants at the mall. God forbid they should let someone else pass first.
April 6th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
Or the ones who go to the jam-packed farmer’s market and convene at the corners in clusters of four, deployed in cross formation and effectively blocking all traffic. Their poor kids are used like icebreakers when they decide to move, too; no wonder they look terrified, all they see are knees coming at them at speed.
April 7th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
OK, I wouldn’t buy any of these, though I do agree the sandwich cutters are cute. (Mostly because toddlers could use them by themselves, which would make my son at least far more likely to eat said sandwich.) OTOH, though, I’m with gamma. I think all of these products could have a niche market for individuals. Hey, it’s nice to have options, no one’s forcing anyone to buy anything here!
April 8th, 2008 at 12:16 am
I have to confess, I had a toast stamper that said “Have a Nice Day,” but I got it in a Booby Prize exchange.
April 8th, 2008 at 12:49 am
Steph, I would never call you a moron!
I wasn’t saying that these products are horrible, but I was just curious if anyone else thought they were a bit unnecessary, or if they really came in handy for certain people. And you are someone for whom they worked, which is what I wanted to find out!
April 8th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
The DaysAgo counters can’t beat my Sharpie-in-a-magnetic-cup-on-the-fridge-door with a stick.
April 9th, 2008 at 11:31 am
We have the auto seat protector and it’s actually more useful than you think. In the old days, kids didn’t have car seats (hell, we didn’t even use seat belts) so kicking the back of the front seat was a malicious habit to be stopped pronto. Now, my two-year-old’s car seat sits her up so high (and she’s so securely strapped in) that her little muddy feet hit right at the top half of the front seat. She can’t really bend her legs in that position so there’s nowhere else for her feet to go. When she moves to a booster in a couple of years, we will remove the seat protector and commence screaming at her to stop kicking the seat.