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Archive for April 6th, 2008

Garage Sales of the Elder Gods!

Sunday, April 6th, 2008
By raincoaster

Garage Sale of the Elder Gods

via JudithJane

Welcome to Cthulhu-ville, where the overlords are unspeakable, the architecture is non-Euclidean and the natives are eldritch.

This is the garage sale sign you pass on your way to a playground that looks like this:

Cthulhoid playground

And after you’ve take the spawn to the playground you drive home:

Who will be eaten first?
(are those bloody handprints? Charming!)

And tuck the tadpoles into bed in an apartment block that looks like this:

Cthulhu Cthamp!

Sweet dreams! Fhtagn!

Fhtagn, Billy, Fhtagn!

Listmania! Things That Make You Go, Hmmmm…

Sunday, April 6th, 2008
By Glinda

Babies and kids are big business. That’s why there are a million different toys and safety items and educational thingamajigs and anything else that you can think of just for them.   Products are trumpeted as the latest and greatest, things that you just can’t live without.  But is that really true?

Some of these I sort of covet, but wonder if they make life simpler or just that much more complicated.  Are the concepts revolutionary, or just a way to get you to spend some money? Are they truly useful, or are they just products that prey on parental insecurities?

Shampoo Rinse CupShampoo Rinse Cup– Instead of a regular cup, this one has a soft, flexible edge to keep the water and shampoo out of eyes.  Ummm, how about just being really careful? Although if you have a child that screams bloody  murder when water gets on their face, it might be worth it. Although you should discount any future competitive swimming career.

Snack CatchersSnack Catchers– I can see why people would like these because they are reusable, but they also seem to possibly go a bit overboard.  Don’t say the name of this too fast, though, it could come out a bit raunchy. 

Babeebrite Hands Free Mobile LightBabeebrite Hands Free Mobile Light– This is touted for those 3am diaper changes or for checking on your baby in the middle of the night.  It could be the best thing ever, or just another gadget that becomes too much trouble when you can just get a soft night light.  Nobody expects a 3am diaper change to be perfect, anyway.

Auto Seat Back ProtectorAuto Seat Back Protector– Whatever happened to the good old days when parents would just scream at their kids to stop kicking the back of the car seat, or so help them God, they would pull over?

Child LocatorChild Locator– For twenty bucks, this device will enable you to track your child up to 150 feet away and through concrete walls.  In one sense, I think parents should obviously keep track of their kids, but for certain events, I could possibly see the usefulness of this. 

Juice PalJuice Pal– Keeps those annoying juice boxes and pouches from being squeezed too tightly by little hands and spurting all over your beige carpet.  I can see where this would come in handy, but kids aren’t supposed to drink a lot of juice, so I’m conflicted.

Inflatable Bathtub LinerInflatable Bathtub Liner– You inflate this with a separately sold pump (because with an infant you just have so much extra time for blowing up liners!) and you simply line the tub so that your child won’t hurt his/her self on the sides of the tub.  It isn’t designed to keep your child from slipping in the tub, so I don’t quite see the point.

Crustless Sandwich CutterCrustless Sandwich Cutter–  All right, I have to admit I’m a fan of the cute little shapes, but is this truly necessary?

DaysAgo Digital Day TimerDaysAgo Digital Day Counter– I for one remember being extremely sleep deprived in those infant days, but was I so far gone that I needed to stick a digital counter on my food to tell me if it was still any good?  And you have to set the thing to boot. 

Safety FlagStroller Safety Flag– Attach this to your stroller, and everyone will see you!  How about just being very conscientious when pushing your stroller, whether it be in a crowd or entering an intersection? And don’t they know that people already avoid women with strollers like the plague?

I would love, love, love to know what you all think of these.

Disclaimer: Manolo the Shoeblogger is not Manolo Blahnik
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