Teeny Manolo

File this under That’s Just Wrong.

Because the average child’s day just doesn’t include enough opportunities to view or conduct stylized physical violence, that bastion of taste and nurturing World Wrestling Entertainment has launched a website, magazine, toy line, and (tentative) television show to feed this perceived need. Did someone cancel the Road Runner while I wasn’t looking or something?

From Variety:

“A large percentage of children in America get introduced to our brand from 6 to 10 years old,” said Geof Rochester, exec VP of marketing for WWE. “We said, ‘We have a strong kids audience; let’s embrace that.’ We want to have a lifelong relationship with these kids…Anything we do, we do multiplatform,” Rochester said. “As we look at the kids marketplace, we’ll attack it the same way.”

Sounds to me like somebody needs a little Time Out.

A while ago, I bought the Munchkin some plates that were divided into four sections, a big one for the main dish, and then three smaller ones at the top.

As I suspected, he adored them. He is very methodical, very logical, so these appealed to his inner engineer. He also doesn’t appreciate his various food items touching each other, so the plates worked like a charm.

Since then, he demands prefers that every meal he eats utilize the plates. I only have four, so sometimes I am short one. Usually, knowing the fuss that will occur if the plates are not present, I will simply hand wash so that I have one to use.

The other day I was feeling ill, and Daddy, staying home from work and not being privy to the odd routines of a five year old, attempted to serve Mr. P his lunch on a regular plate.

It was so not pretty.

I can understand the perspective of hey, is a particular plate really all that important in the grand scheme of life?

And to those that live daily with a child, the short answer is yes.

So even though I wasn’t feeling great, I went ahead and got a clean one out of the dishwasher. Yeah, yeah, talk to me another day about undercutting my husband’s authority, blabbity blah…

After I had served the Munchkin his now-appropriately proportioned lunch, he, with all of the self-righteous anger that only a five year old can muster, pointed at my husband and said, “Daddy, you are fired!”

If only life were that easy, kid.

If only. Oh, if only. This little baby is my dream machine. And they could have a right-wing version with an AI simulation of William F. Buckley for the playoffs. Gore Vidal, William Kristol and Naomi Klein modules! I can see it all now! I could sell a million of them! Soooooo much more practical than silly old spelling bees!

Oh, who am I kidding? What’s the market for a game teaching rote memorization of routine tasks versus the ability to conduct logical debate with philosophical opponents at an elevated level? There goes my business plan, now where did I put the gin?

It isn’t the makeup artists to create a flawless complexion…

Or the fabulous dresses… Well in this case the, uh, supposed access to fabulous dresses whether taken advantage of or not…

Or the beautiful updos and bling…

Not the unlimited snack runs…

It isn’t the perfectly toned bodies right after childbirth…

It isn’t even all the money they spend for the plastic surgeries to get the bodies…

No, it is none of that.

Do you realize that none of the children of any of these women were around when these pictures were taken?

It’s the babysitting I want, my friends. 

They can have all the rest, but I want the babysitting.  If I was able to ditch my kid as often as they do, I’d have a big smile on my face too!

You will naturally remember our colourful eccentrics from Friday, along with their surprisingly normal-seeming offspring. Your memory may be particularly aided, as mine was, by the realization that the dog blanket Helena Bonham Carter is wearing as a skirt here was probably designed by a reclusive genius from Andorra and likely cost more than I made this month, but that is neither here nor there.

It is time to announce the winner of the caption contest. Drumroll, please! And, from the looks of these two, a backbeat from the Salvation Army marching band as well.

La Petite Acadienne Says:
March 21st, 2008 at 10:41 pm

Imagine his mother’s suprise when while, cleaning under his bed, Jeremiah’s mother discovered that while his schoolmates might bring home ladybugs, stray kittens, or tadpoles, little Jeremiah preferred to collect hobos.

Kudos, Godiva chocolate eggs, and nothing but the most soignée of imaginary fashion prizes to La Petite Acadienne! What shall we give her to mark her triumph over the challenge of the pyjama-sporting Burton and his warm-legged helpmeet whom I do not recall actually starring in Rent at any point…?

We shall award her these impeccably proper yet unmistakably sexy open-toed pumps from Givenchy:

Last week’s poll addressed attitudes toward homeschooling and people who choose that option.  Multiple choices were allowed, and the category with the largest percentage of votes was the “imparting religious instruction not given in public school” with almost sixty percent.  Now, that may or may not be true, but I had a feeling that was a perception among most people.  The next category with the most votes with fifty one percent was, “their views differ from the mainstream.”  I thought it was a really interesting poll, and I thank you all for your honesty.

Now, doing my normal thing of zooming into an entirely different subject, I’ve got one about candy and how much candy kids get during holidays and celebrations. This weekend, my son got more candy than he could ever eat. Now, what to do with it?

more at twiigs.com…

The truly great stories have always inspired creative reinterpretation and re-telling in a variety of media; the Easter story is no exception.

From paintings by Caravaggio and Bacon to the literal re-enactments that take over the Philippines every year, to the singin’, dancin’ disciples in Godspell, to the current Gitmo-referencing Manchester production, the story of the death of Jesus has been interpreted in virtually every art form known to humanity. Even Blogging!

And now, Lego.

At a reported cost of over ten thousand dollars, this American (well, what else could he be?) minister has recreated not only the life of Jesus, but much of the Bible in Lego.

For Easter we have the Last Supper, the Arrest of Jesus, the Trial, the Crucifixion (what an odd word to know how to spell. I mean, how often do you use it, eh? And yet I bet you know how to spell it?), the Empty Tomb, and the Final Appearance. These are only details, you’ve gotta go to the source for the real deal. Simon Peter has that hot Miami Vice stubble thing going on, as well as some major Austin Powers chest hair. Hawt.

As anyone who’s ever compared different biblical translations can attest (or is that “witness“?) the picture you get from the whole is substantially different from the picture you get from the snippets.

God is indeed in the details, but he’s also the original Big Picture Guy!

The Last Supper

The Arrest of Jesus

The Trial of Jesus

The Crucifixion

The Empty Tomb, OMG OMG OMG!

The Final Appearance

The Easter Bunny doesn’t hate you!  The Easter Bunny loves you and brings you cool eggs like these ones from Down Under:

Stolen shamelessly from the fantastic Magneto Bold Too!

Forgive me if you’ve seen this already. Cover the eyes of your tender young and gaze, if you can, upon the unmitigated malignity which is The Real Easter Bunny.

Via Defamer

You know, there are just some days when a mom just can’t wash her  hair.  I’m thinking back to that haze of infancy when most of the time, going to the bathroom alone is a major accomplishment, much less a full-fledged shower.  Many were the times when I went out without washing my hair, and usually a baseball cap would do the trick.  It didn’t look very good, but at least no one could see my dirty hair.

Back in the day, and I mean waaay back in the college days, I used to use baby powder.  I could get away with it because I have blonde hair, but after a while it looked awful and it didn’t help at all to fix the “flat” look at the roots.  

But that was a long time ago, and technology has luckily come to our rescue in the form of dry shampoos.

One of the best out there is Klorane Dry Oat Shampoo.

It uses the natural absorbency of oats to get the impurities out of your hair, and it gives your hair that little extra “lift” that it has when it is clean.

It has a pleasant smell that is light years ahead of baby powder, and the only minus against is the size of the bottle, which is on the small side.

However, we shall cross our fingers and hope that your non-showering days will be few and far between.