If only. Oh, if only. This little baby is my dream machine. And they could have a right-wing version with an AI simulation of William F. Buckley for the playoffs. Gore Vidal, William Kristol and Naomi Klein modules! I can see it all now! I could sell a million of them! Soooooo much more practical than silly old spelling bees!

Oh, who am I kidding? What’s the market for a game teaching rote memorization of routine tasks versus the ability to conduct logical debate with philosophical opponents at an elevated level? There goes my business plan, now where did I put the gin?

It isn’t the makeup artists to create a flawless complexion…

Or the fabulous dresses… Well in this case the, uh, supposed access to fabulous dresses whether taken advantage of or not…

Or the beautiful updos and bling…

Not the unlimited snack runs…

It isn’t the perfectly toned bodies right after childbirth…

It isn’t even all the money they spend for the plastic surgeries to get the bodies…

No, it is none of that.

Do you realize that none of the children of any of these women were around when these pictures were taken?

It’s the babysitting I want, my friends. 

They can have all the rest, but I want the babysitting.  If I was able to ditch my kid as often as they do, I’d have a big smile on my face too!