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Lazy Parenting Award: Part Quatre | Teeny Manolo

Lazy Parenting Award: Part Quatre

Don’t let this be you!

I dare say that we have all been there.

You’re sitting in the movie theater, after having shelled out your hard earned dough on some overpriced tickets and a bucket-sized Coke.   The commercials pre-show is running, and you are trying to figure out which movie Adam Sandler starred in that mentioned the devil, or some such frippery.   You anxiously await the start of your PG-13 or R-rated movie, which may or may not include nudity, blood, cursing, convoluted plotlines, sex or any combination thereof in copious quantities. 

Then, to the horror of the entire movie theater, they come in.  The people with the little kid.

Now, I’m going to exclude infants from this category, which is probably a controversial move.  I am of the belief that the decibel level in most theaters is a bit too loud for such tender ears, but I have seen babies who have slept and/or nursed throughout the entire movie.  I’m feeling charitable today, so I’m going to give them a pass.

No, this is the toddler or the preschooler who will definitely NOT be napping or nursing their way happily through the movie.

This is the toddler or preschooler who has no business whatsoever seeing scary, sexy, bloody, curse-y, complicated-y types of movies.  The one who will bounce around in their seat, as bored toddlers are wont to do.  The one who will babble some type of information about Barney as you are trying to grasp who exactly the ambassador to Russia is, and why he is tied up in a hotel room.  Or the one who, and this is a true story, will scream as loud as hell when Nicole Kidman has that really freaky scene in the film when she is dead but thinks she is alive, but then finds out she is the one who is dead.  You know the one.  I think that child is scarred for life, and only after she had been gauranteed nightmares for the next six months, minimum, did her parents remove her from the theater.  Which was like, an hour and ten minutes too late.

So, come on up to the front of the theater, you Lazy Parenting Award Winners,TM because we all feel the overwhelming need to pelt you with our popcorn as we shout, “Get a babysitter already, will you?”

9 Responses to “Lazy Parenting Award: Part Quatre”

  1. Glinda March 19, 2008 at 3:46 pm #

    Please don’t tell me I am the only one living in a place where people do this?

    Otherwise, I might have to move to where you all are at.

  2. Annalucia March 19, 2008 at 5:32 pm #

    This is why the Annalucia usually waits for the DVD to come out.

  3. Twistie March 19, 2008 at 8:35 pm #

    I well remember as a teen going to see All the President’s Men. There was a guy down the row from us with his pre-school-aged kids (two of them) trying to tell the the story like a fairy tale throughout the entire film. Thanks guy. I’ve never forgotten how annoying that was nor how rotten that must have been for two squirrely little kids WHO COULDN’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING THAT WAS GOING ON and so spent most of their time whining about wanting to go home.

    This is one of the many reasons Mr. Twistie and I rarely attend early showings. Someone who would bring a tiny child to a seven o’clock showing of a film meant for an older audience sometimes has the sense not to bring little Eggbert and Tziphaknee along if the film starts at ten.

  4. Brian's Babymomma March 19, 2008 at 8:42 pm #

    I haven’t been to a movie in years. I have kids…

  5. La Petite Acadienne March 19, 2008 at 10:04 pm #

    I rarely go to the movies, as the closest theatre is a 45 minute drive from me. My annoyance tends to be caused more by teenagers gabbing to each other with their commentary on the film. Although as a general rule, I do tend to think that a lot of parents expose their kids to TV shows and movies that are MUCH too mature. Yes, I know Spider-Man is cool, but if think it’s a good idea for your 3-year-old to see Topher Grace’s depiction of Venom, then you really need to put down the drugs.

  6. raincoaster March 20, 2008 at 2:48 am #

    People don’t tend to do this where I live, but I HAVE seen audience members physically rip cellphones out of the hands of the addicted during movies and plays.

  7. Jennifer in GA March 20, 2008 at 6:48 am #

    I went and saw Knocked Up last summer. I was horrified to see a woman bring in a girl who couldn’t have been older than 8 or 9. I think it’s a totally inappropriate movie for a child that age. The poor girl must have got up to go the bathroom at least six times, usually right as a sex scene was starting. (And since they were sitting right in front of me, this bugged for other reasons!)

  8. Bethany March 20, 2008 at 4:10 pm #

    Well, I did have to remind my husband last night that we won’t be going to see the new Narnia movie any time soon, as we are due to have our first baby the week before it comes out.
    As far as parents that bring their kids to inappropriate movies.. I just wonder what they are thinking. It’s not like the grocery store, where I could understand having to bring a young child or you’ll starve!
    I would love to see someone rip the cellphone of some rude talking-while-movie-watching persons hand! I think I would cheer, but don’t have the guts to do it myself… I would be concerned that they might go crazy or something… I don’t live in a bad area, but it seems they ship the ghettos in from the next town over..

  9. galadrium March 21, 2008 at 9:34 pm #

    One of my huge pet peeves. I have seen young children taken to extremely inappropriate movies, and my husband has to restrain me from sternly lecturing the offending parents after the show. It’s not just that it’s annoying for everyone else, it’s bad for the kids.