For you, the Nile does not merely represent a river in Egypt.
If a teacher was to talk to you after class one day and inform you that your little Beaufort was seen by no less than 10 people hitting another student, your reaction would be, “My baby?My baby could have never done something like that! My sweet, poor Beaufort would never even hurt a fly!”
Even as you are saying this, young Beaufort is glaring at the person who ratted him out and indicating the type of punishment they will receive for their betrayal.
You, my Lazy Parenting Award WinnerTM, are in denial.
Your child is an island of perfect behavior in the midst of a roiling sea of ruffians.
Your child always does his homework, never tells a lie, and never causes an iota of trouble.
And yet, you can never fathom those funny looks in your direction, the quick “shuffle of avoidance” at functions, or why playdates are few and far between.
It is difficult for all parents to hear “bad” things about their child. No one wants to believe that their kid would hit a younger child in school, or that they haven’t been doing their homework. However, a non-lazy parent listens with respect to the bearer of the bad news, questions as necessary, and then steels themselves for the task at hand.
Which normally is to correct the behavior that needs correcting.
But not you, Lazy Parent Award WinnerTM!
Conspiracy theorists have nothing on you. The world is simply waging a vicious vendetta upon your angel sweetie-poo, and you as their guardian will stop at nothing to prove their innocence.
Well, you’d better get used to defending your kid, because you’re going to need a lot of practice!