Kitchen rage.

It’s pervasive. It’s terrifying. It’s the last taboo of the desperate housewife. And now, at last, it finds an acceptable outlet in this delightful music video from the Finnish post-punk band Hurra Torpedo. It is nothing more nor less than Bonnie Tyler’s great Seventies anthem, Total Eclipse of the Heart, arranged for and performed on electric guitar, chest freezer, plunger, ironing board, and stove. Even better than the Angry Housewives’ Eat Your Fucking Cornflakes.

Never apologize, never explain.

So, for todays Friday Saturday Caption Contest, we present The Explorers, a mysterious and intriguing photo by Jennifer Zwick, which we stole from Neatorama.

Because we are all about the ability to quickly apply makeup, whether it be in the car prior to a PTA meeting or in the bathroom while a preschooler is complaining that the tag on their clothing is suddenly bothering them, I present:

The ultimate multitasking makeup, NARS The Multiple in Orgasm.  You can apply this shimmery peachy-pink anywhere you need color.  The color is perfect for spring/summer and works well with many skin tones. Cheeks, lips, eyes, decolletage, it has it all covered.   

It’s a leeetle pricey, but if you tend not to wear a lot of makeup, you could definitely get your money’s worth out of this product by using it as your main color source in multiple areas.

And let’s just agree that we will never let our kids know the name of it, OK? At least not until they’re in college or something.