The Schadenfreude Special » Teeny Manolo

The Schadenfreude Special

By raincoaster

Andy Warhol Four Pandas

Oh, I’ll have a double helping of this.

Recall, if you will, Glinda’s thoughtful post on the concept of the “Alpha Mom.” The Alpha Mom would be described by those who aspire to Alpha-dom as a woman who has it all and runs it with aplomb. She would be described by pretty much everyone else as an insufferable snob, an undermining, competitive bitch, and a complete pain in the ass.

You know the type.

Well, the type, it seems, has a regular column in the Times of London (Mother’s Little Helper is the tagline; you can’t make this stuff up!) and we (as highly professional parenting bloggers) do cast a narrowed eye over the gilded ghetto of the Alpha Mummy column from time to time, holding our noses against the clouds of Coco Mademoiselle (Mademoiselle? Really? I thought you were 40, darling?) and squinting through the glare coming off all that lam├ę. You’ve no idea the sacrifices we endure for you.

Or the joys.

For lo, in the land of the TeenyManolo there was great joy last night at about 3am, when we saw the comments that regular readers had made on the Alpha Mummy blog. Possessed as we are of commenters both witty and supportive, we could only chuckle malevolently to ourselves as the delightful waves of Schadenfreude washed over us.

The post:

What to do this weekend. Kids.Modern fair.

Instead of spending the whole day in our pyjamas or doing the grocery shopping, this Sunday we’re heading to Dulwich for the Kids.Modern fair. This is the first fair, run by the folks who do the Midcentury Modern fair, but focussed on vintage and new design for kids. Children will be able to make t-shirts, make trays, play with toys, interact with digital wallpaper and more…

Okay, this is more of a post than I’d normally steal and re-post, but I just have to say: that, is, too, many, commas. And when I say that, you gotta know it’s true. Don’t they have copy editors at the Times Online? But the very cockles of our shriveled and dried hearts were warmed by tears of joy when we read the comments, which we are also going to steal and re-post. Behold and cheer:

ps am I alone in wondering if Jennifer’s kids will come home and start to interact with analogue wallpaper, otherwise known as scribbling on the walls….

Actually I am spending all day in my PJs AND doing the grocery shopping, thanks to tesco online.

The younger ones appear to be playing in a cardboard box, whatever, I dont really care ­čÖé

Is interacting with digital wallpaper as criminally dull as it sounds?

One can only assume so. And no doubt the budding Wallpaper editors will be thrilled to the very core at the chance to colour pictures of old Eames chairs and the like. Except, it seems that even the vast resources of the most respected newspaper in the world couldn’t get a picture of children doing this. I wonder how much they had to pay the two grups in the shot?

Old people colour too!

I mean, seriously, people (there go those commas again!) when the best you can think of to do for the weekend is to take your kids to a cunningly-disguised trade show, it’s time to stop breeding.

12 Responses to “The Schadenfreude Special”

  1. class-factotum Says:

    I’m confused. What’s wrong with spending the weekend in PJs? And why do you have to take your kids to a fair so they can play with toys?

  2. Glinda Says:

    J’s comments crack me up.

  3. Twistie Says:

    I’m a grup with a fetish for all manner of arts and crafts and you couldn’t pay me to color in Eames chairs on wallpaper.

    By contrast, I have many fond memories of spending saturdays in my pajamas curled up on the couch watching old movies and sipping hot chocolate with my mother. I wouldn’t give up those memories for anything.

  4. raincoaster Says:

    You just KNOW that once the kids have gone, the company will be selling that “hand coloured in neo-Primitive fashion” wallpaper for thousands.

  5. blc Says:

    “most respected newspaper in the world” What world is that?! Seriously, you’ve never heard of the WSJ or the FT?!

  6. raincoaster Says:

    Certainly I have, and was even quoted in one of them, but the Times is more respected overall. Those are both special interest financial publications, and while I adore the FT, the WSJ is all over the place in terms of quality. They have some brilliant reporters. And they have some duds.

  7. blc Says:

    Ha! Funny. We’ll they’re way too agenda-driven for me, but I agree they do a good job with fashion/food/travel.

  8. blc Says:

    oops – fingers slipped. that should have been “WELL…etc.”

  9. raincoaster Says:

    Oh, I read the FT more than I read the Times, but I recognize its historic reputation and standing. I have been reading the Guardian for years, but that latest redesign has me clicking away in confusion more and more. And don’t get me started on the CBC! If only the Globe & Mail didn’t stick half the content behind subscription-only lines and kill stories after a certain time period it would be my online read of choice.

  10. nursemyra Says:

    raincoaster, I didn’t, even, have to click to the bottom, to see this post was written, by you.


  11. raincoaster Says:

    We, all, have, our, trademarks. Mine are snobbery and excessive punctuation.

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