November, 2007 | Teeny Manolo - Part 2



Archive for November, 2007


Moms with More Hair Use Velcro

Tuesday, November 27th, 2007
By Glinda

Kenneth Cole Reaction Boy’s Shoe

As my colleague raincoaster noted in a previous comment, a lot of people bemoan the fact that many young children’s shoes have velcro closures instead of laces. My goodness, they think, will an entire generation of children grow up never knowing how to tie a knot? How will they ever learn how to sail? Is it even possible to raise children properly when they simply run around never having to experience the hardship of re-tying their shoelaces at various unexpected intervals throughout the day?

But, I’m here to tell you that velcro is not the global menace that it seems, mentally weakening our kids and spoiling them with the ability to stay fastened.

In fact, velcro shoe closures have been proven in double-blind studies to help modern mothers retain 15% more hair than their non-velcroed counterparts.

If you have ever tried to get a toddler/preschooler ready, it can take longer than you anticipate, even though delays are inevitable. You never know if they are going to refuse to brush their teeth because they suddenly dislike the color of the toothpaste, protest getting their hair combed, or even just outright refuse to put their clothes on in favor of jumping on the bed or other worthy pastimes. Children have some sort of built in detector by which they can subconsciously calculate how badly their parents want them to do something. And increase the rebellion levels accordingly.

This can make for a bit of stress, especially if you are operating on a timetable. Which would be the vast majority of the time.

Knowing that a child as young as three, or sometimes even younger, can put on their own set of shoes is a source of great comfort to mothers who are just trying to get themselves out the door, already. It fosters independence. It teaches greater responsibility. It means that I don’t have to get down on the floor and tie them when we are running late. Or in the middle of a mall. Or in the middle of the park. Or… you get the picture.

And let’s be realistic, young children just have not developed the fine motor skills needed to tie their own shoelaces. Yet annoyingly, they still need to wear shoes, so velcro is the great compromise.

Long live velcro!

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Friday Caption Contest Results: Baby Matador Edition!

Monday, November 26th, 2007
By raincoaster

Yes, it’s that time of the week we’ve all been waiting for: the time when we announce the winner of the TeenyManolo Friday caption contest. Remember our beautifully-dressed baby matador of last week?

Child Matador

gamma Says:

“Good dog, Carl!”

Congratulations to gamma: isn’t this your second win? Maybe we should work on an annual Captioneer’s Hall of Fame. And yes, as Fracas suggests, you should buy new shoes for the ceremony, even if there is no ceremony. Details, details.

Donna Karan Gold Sandals

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Monday Teeny Poll

Monday, November 26th, 2007
By Glinda

diaper.jpg

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Ho, Ho, Whoa!

Sunday, November 25th, 2007
By raincoaster

Evil Gingerbread Man

Say howdy to the Evil LED Gingerbread Man, just the thing for serving while watching The Nightmare Before Christmas or The Ref or the first three-quarters of The Grinch, or any of the other wholesome, joyful family flicks with which the season is rife. (surely, SURELY there’s an Addams Family Christmas movie? Or were they Jewish?)

This demented confection comes to us (via Craftzine and WeMakeMoneyNotArt) fresh from the twisted confines of the Kitchen Budapest catalog, which offers free, downloadable (but PDF, therefore slooooooow) instructions right here.

The essential rightness of this project cannot be overstated. Right for the times, with its flashy, topical LED illumination and low power consumption; right for the subject matter, too: as with so many children’s tales, upon re-examination, the sweet little poem about the gingerbread man resolves into a cruel tale of frantic futility, nameless depravity, and malevolence the equal of anything spawned from the pen of Aeschylus. Re-read The Gingerbread Man at own risk, TeenyManolo assumes no liability: that gingerdude was/is the kind of protagonist your mother warned you about. Why, just look at that demented grin!

The Gingerbread Man

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ListMania! Top Ten Family Christmas Movies

Sunday, November 25th, 2007
By Glinda

What is it about Christmas movies that just seem so much more special than regular ones?

Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
A Christmas Story
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Television Christmas Classics– (Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, etc…)
A Christmas Carol (1951)
Dr. Seuss’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Home Alone
The Polar Express
Elf
A Charlie Brown Christmas

If you will excuse me, I am now putting on my flak jacket and ducking behind this wall to prepare myself for the barrage of criticism for excluding a particular classic movie.  Let me go ahead and make it a bit easier for you, so that you don’t have to write so much.

1. Yes, I have seen it.
2. Yes, I like Jimmy Stewart a lot, too.
3. No, it didn’t make me cry.
4. Yes, I have a heart.
5. No, it does not mean this entry should be placed in the “That’s Just Wrong” category.

I just don’t see what the big deal is about that movie.  It does nothing for me.  I know you have now probably lost all respect for me, but I love you just the same.

And if anyone knows any great Chanukah movies, please let us know!

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that certain something…

Saturday, November 24th, 2007
By raincoaster

Terror Alert XylophoneSometimes you run across a kid that’s just too…different…for regular toys. Perhaps little Suzie or Freddy like to picket the letter X in the library. Perhaps they enjoy eating plastic toys before rushing off to middle school. Maybe they refuse to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas because of the unmistakable overtones of communism inherent in the cooperative actions taken by the children. These children are not the world’s easiest to buy for, particularly once you’ve worked your way through the full lineup of Nerf products.

BabyBush is here for you.

Feast your eyes upon a product line that includes the red ball counter, kinda like an abacus, but containing only one ball. For the miniature Republican, we have the Terror Alert Xylophone, sure to be sweet music to his/her shell-like ears.

(belated thanks to CelebratingTheAbsurd for the tipoff! I’m way too lazy to find this stuff myself!)


Where is Charles Barkley When You Need Him?

Saturday, November 24th, 2007
By Glinda

There is a huge trend in rock tees for kids right now.  And hey, I like rock as much as the next girl.  But some of the choices in rock legends leave me scratching my head as to why you would want your child to go around sporting practically life size versions of these “legends” on their chests.

Sid Vicious

Sid Vicious?  Girlfriend-beater, heroin and methadone addict, as well as just sort of a jerk?  Not to mention a questionable bass player at that. Sigh. Just because a shirt has the Union Jack and somebody British does not make it automatically cool, my friends.  

Whitesnake

Really? Whitesnake?  Did Whitesnake even have any hits big enough that someone is willing to pay thirty five bucks for their tee? Who can even name me one of their songs without having to look it up first? They are one of the only bands who are better known for their videos than their actual songs.

AC/DC

We can start the kiddies off with a rousing version of “Big Balls,” move on to “Highway to Hell” and finish with the classic “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap.” As you can see, AC/DC really cared about teaching kids alliteration.

 


Friday Caption Contest: Baby Matador edition!

Friday, November 23rd, 2007
By raincoaster

Now, this is just not something you see every day (unless you read Shadow of a Bull in school and have flashbacks…or is that just me?).

Michelito Lagravere Peniche, Child Matador

This is Michelito Lagravere Peniche, Matador, and he is nine.

Shadow of a BullThey are not allowed to fight professionally in Spain, but baby-faced bullfighters are the rage throughout Mexico. Even though some of the school-age children appearing at the country’s scores of bullrings are not much taller than the bulls they confront, these mini-matadors have begun getting top billing from promoters, who view them as a new way to bring people to the arena…

What ever happened to baseball? Don’t they have hockey in Mexico? What about volleyball? Charades? Should we send in a NATO nonviolent sports task force? Uh, on second thought, forget hockey.









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