You may have noticed, gentle reader, that we have a category for “BabyHaters” in the sidebar. We’ve just arbitrarily decided to extend it to include people who hate kids older than babies, particularly their own.

Like this guy.

Ah, parents. What won’t they do for their children? Now, you take Huang Li, a 10-year-old girl who went for a three-hour river swim with her limbs bound, hoping eventually to make it into the record books.

She covered nearly two miles, and when she got out, her father said – now pay attention, because this is probably the quote of the month, “Next time, she will swim further and I’ll follow her in a boat to ensure safety.”

Maaaan, he probably thinks she should walk home after swimming, too. Faint hope he gave her bus fare, eh?

Hello? Can you hear me?

This dratted microphone, it never works properly. It always works for Drew, why can’t it work for me?

Ahem. In the latest edition of One Bid, I present to you a blast from the past. One of the original hair bands who just wanted to rock and roll all night and party every day. That’s right, KISS. Can you believe they are making clothes for kids whose parents were probably kids themselves when KISS was popular? It boggles the mind, really. Or, perhaps my mind is just easily boggled.

What say you? What retail price are people paying for this article of clothing?

There is no Showcase Showdown if you win, but come on, it’s still fun!

And was it just me, or did the guy who was supposed to look like a cat give you the heebie jeebies too?

Now there were some guesses on this contraption that made me jealous that I didn’t think of them first.

Awesome Mom came up with this gem:

It is an electronic high five machine. For those times when you do something super cool and no one is around to high five you.

I can’t even tell you how many times that exact thing has happened to me.

And Brian’s Babymomma submitted this classic:

A personal space keeper for those long bus rides during commute hours?

As highly entertaining as those are, the actual purpose of the invention is an “Anti-Mosquito Hat” for, well, keeping the mosquitos away. But kudos to the young inventors, blessed with such creativity.

Now, if only I could recruit them to draw up some blueprints for a laundry-folding machine…