Glue Sniffer?

Play Doh

God knows, you don’t want anyone to be in a moment’s doubt about whether or not you’re a parent. You find, perhaps, that excusing yourself from meetings to “go potty” or using a diaper bag as your overnight bag at the conference isn’t enough. You need more. You want to REEK of parenthood.

Demeter, ancient Greek goddess of Springtime, the Earth, a bountiful harvest, and social engineering (? yes, really) has heard your cries. She has brought forth from her hidden cavern gifts of Play-Doh, BabyPowder, Crayon, and even the controversial Glue.

8 Responses to “Glue Sniffer?”

  1. Carol November 8, 2007 at 9:58 am #

    Poison Ivy? I’ve never gotten close enough to know if it smells “good” or not. Nor do I intend to!

  2. class-factotum November 8, 2007 at 10:15 am #

    What about “fresh test from the ditto/mimeo machine?”

  3. JaneC November 8, 2007 at 12:09 pm #

    I want something that smells like old books, for us library geeks who sometimes have to stay home. I suppose a combination of Dust and Paperback might do it. Also, um, what’s up with Funeral Home?

    As you reek of parenthood, don’t forget Dirt, Earthworm, and in summer one of their many ice cream/popsicle flavors–I’m sure a child has tried to share a frozen treat with you at some point, only for said treat to end up mostly in your hair or on your shirt. Substitute Snow in winter.

  4. Phyllis November 8, 2007 at 3:05 pm #

    And we can’t forget “Spooge”, the perfume from little handprints on the shoulder of your best business suit.

  5. Glinda November 8, 2007 at 4:08 pm #

    OK, baby powder wouldn’t be that bad, it would just smell like Love’s Baby Soft, which I used to steal from my sister ALL THE TIME.

  6. raincoaster November 8, 2007 at 5:55 pm #

    Didn’t we all?

    Funeral Home cologne, eh? Who knew there were that many necrophiliacs in the world?

    But as to “Spooge” I do not think that word means what you think it means. Unless you’re dating a jockey, that is.

  7. Phyllis November 9, 2007 at 3:51 pm #

    I did it again? I am clearly no longer up to date on my slang.

  8. raincoaster November 9, 2007 at 6:19 pm #

    Well maybe it’s just that I’ve a skewed perspective: after all, I have dated a jockey.