Oh, nothing so radical as Swift’s modest proposal, however practical it may be. No, this is a much more heartwarming, uplifting, singing, dancing happy ending kind of thing entirely.
We at TeenyManolo have been alerted to not a few global crises involving children, everything from substance-addled celebutards playing Drop the Baby to lead-lined lunchbaskets, and our heartstrings have not failed to have been plucked. Why, some days, I can hardly post for my plucking heartstrings.
Now, at last, comes a crisis about which we can actually do something; we can, indeed, change the world.
For, just as there’s plenty of ozone in Los Angeles but not enough in Antarctica (are airborne pipelines so hard?) so it appears that there are millions of boys in China growing up without the prospect of brides.
The government is committed to solving gender imbalance within 10 to 15 years with education campaigns, punishments for sex-selective abortions and rewards -like retirement pensions- for parents who have girls.
Is this government abuse? Human rights’ violation? The only way to keep overpopulation under control?
But wait! What’s this?
News from The Guardian that in the Arctic realm, the mighty Gender Equalizer in the Sky has supplied a vast, compensatory overabundance of female babies.
The scientists, who say the findings could explain the recent excess of girl babies across much of the northern hemisphere, are widening their investigation across the most acutely affected communities in Russia, Greenland and Canada to try to discover the size of the imbalance in Inuit communities of the far north.
In the communities of Greenland and eastern Russia monitored so far, the ratio was found to be two girls to one boy. In one village in Greenland only girls have been born.
You’re seeing where I’m going with this…it’s an important global issue, according to Foreign Policy magazine. We need an immediate practical solution and reasonable ferry service to be established ASAP! Those commutes to school dances are going to be a killer!