Teeny Manolo’s Dating Advice for Single Men
By Glinda
Single men, forget all the things you hear from Maxim and Stuff about how to pick up a chick. Teeny Manolo is here to help. We gaurantee that this method will work. We won’t demand any payment, we do this as a public service. So men, save the lame lines, ditch the fresh produce aisle, and leave the puppies at home. There’s a new game in town.
Teeny Manolo’s Guide to Picking Up Chicks in Six Easy Steps:
1. Legally procure someone else’s child. A young child is good, but it can be of almost any age.
2. Request that the child be dressed nicely, but in an outfit that doesn’t quite match.
3. Take the child anywhere there will be women around. A park is good, a mall is better.
4. Begin interacting with the child. Silly faces, peek-a-boo, and tag are all time-tested winners.
5. Prepare yourself for the onslaught of women who will approach you, completely of their own volition.
6. Pick and choose from the many members of the opposite sex who are practically throwing themselves at you.
There is something so compelling about seeing a man with child. I don’t know if it is something subliminal, or biological, or what, but watching a man having a good time with children is a surefire way to melt the hearts of all women within a hundred foot radius.
Women will think you are a caring, kind individual. They will think you are a responsible individual. In the back of their minds, they will think that you are prime daddy material, because you obviously like kids.
These things will make you nigh upon irresistible to almost any woman.
Because if it can make even Jack Black look adorable, just think of what it can do for you.
October 30th, 2007 at 10:24 am
You nailed this one, Glinda. My single brother picked up on this and when living here was always asking to take my boys with him. Worked everytime…
October 30th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
Go and watch (or read) “About a Boy” – borrowing children can get you in deep, deep trouble 🙂
October 30th, 2007 at 4:54 pm
Well, I think Jack Black is pretty cute anyway, though he does indulge in rather too much tiresomely ironic posturing (I hate Tenacious D!).
Of course, it’s impossible to be all po-mo and ironic while holding a baby — thus the adorableness.
October 30th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
Jack Black is a kid magnet…look a the tender way he holds that baby’s hand.
Love that man.
October 30th, 2007 at 10:02 pm
so true. i get all gooey inside when i see men with babies or toddlers…. generally they’re actually the fathers of the kids, but still. makes me very very happy.
October 30th, 2007 at 11:30 pm
ALMOST any woman. Because SOME of us look at a good-looking man holding a child and think, “What a waste…”
And some of us think that about Jack Black no matter who or what he is holding.
October 31st, 2007 at 3:20 pm
Jack Black is always 100% adorable, but the baby takes it over the top to irresistable.
October 31st, 2007 at 3:45 pm
Boogiemum- It worked out well for both of you!
teapunk- That was a good movie, but did he start hanging out with the boy to impress women? I sort of forgot the details of the plot.
Bridey- I actually like Tenacious D, but I can be weird. I didn’t like them enough to see their movie, though.
Phyllis- He does indeed look like he would be great with kids.
caset- It makes me gooey as well.
Anonymous- “What a waste” meaning he has kids already with someone else? Or that he might be married? Check for the band!
Rain- I can see the quality that makes people think he is adorable, but he doesn’t make my list of top hot guys.
October 31st, 2007 at 5:52 pm
I think the key to the fact that kids are chick magnets is Darwinian in the extreme: proof the DNA works.
November 3rd, 2007 at 1:04 pm
I was going to suggest reading ‘About a Boy‘ but someone else said it before me 😀