October 8, 2007 | Teeny Manolo

Archive for October 8th, 2007

Friday Caption Contest results: October 5, 2007

Monday, October 8th, 2007
By raincoaster

And our winner is…

Well, actually, first I have to establish that I am in no way, shape, or form bitter. I wouldn’t dream of bouncing someone out of competition in a contest of mine just because they made me lose a contest because they mindlessly adhered to stupid rules, stupid, stupid rules. Stupid rules.

No: I’m so over that.

Moving on…

Our winner is: The Terrifying Twistie!

The Crying Game

from bitter purl via Fracas

I had a horrible nightmare that Britney Spears was my Mommy!

The Stroller- Trump Style

Monday, October 8th, 2007
By Glinda

Top of the Line!

Look at that other kid over there.  Did his mom not realize that she could upgrade to the all-leather package?  I’ve even got a seat warmer on this thing!

Kevin Federline’s parenting tips

Monday, October 8th, 2007
By raincoaster

Yes, this is just what the world has been waiting for.

Let’s face it, even Jeffrey Dahmer’s dad put out a book of parenting advice, so who’s to say it’s inappropriate for someone whose sole credential is that he has been found in a court of law to be more reliable than…Britney Spears…to speak out on Saturday Night Live with some golden nuggets of immortal wisdom for the parents of the world?

Monday Teeny Poll

Monday, October 8th, 2007
By Glinda

Girly girl!

When I was in 3rd grade, I have fond memories of sneaking into my grandmother’s bathroom while she was in the kitchen cooking. Picture a young Glinda opening the medicine cabinet and furtively applying blue and green Avon eyeshadow from pots with her finger, as well as using the Estee Lauder lipstick in “Rosa Rosa.” The effect was probably fairly ghastly, I am sure. But to my young eyes, it was perfection. I would admire my handiwork, such as it was, and then hastily attempt to use a tissue or four to rub all of it off before she got suspicious due to my overlong absence. I can’t imagine that I was particularly successful at erasing everything, but she never said a word.

Then, when I was in 8th grade, by some miracle, or possibly a deal with the devil that I am still paying interest on, my strict parents began allowing me to wear Bonne Bell pink lipgloss to school. I was in heaven! I thought surely that pink lipgloss transformed me into someone who looked like she should be on the cover of Seventeen magazine. I used to pore over every page of that magazine when my older sister was done with it, soaking up the secrets of longer eyelashes and shading cheekbones. This information was to be utilized sometime in the future, but certainly not a near one. The pink lipgloss was all I could wear for a long time.

But that was back in the olden days, when there was no such thing as a cell phone, and Dolphin shorts were considered cool. Today, there are many makeup products made with girls in elementary school in mind. Places like Libby Lu focus on “makeovers” for young girls, doing elaborate glittered updos and braids, as well as a full face of makeup. For the most part, stealth applications in bathrooms are no longer necessary for a young girl.

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